Goodbye, and thank you

I don't know how it happened, but I found you under the checkout counter at work. It's a shame, because I really liked you. You had presence and weight, and the faux leather fabric didn't give me heat rash on the back of my neck.

I'm sorry I was so careless with you, heavy necklace. I shall miss you this summer when I want to accessorize but don't want heat rash.

These were a wonderful addition to my shoe rotation. Basic black with a twist. The pointed toe & metallic studs on the vamp and toe box were edgy cool enough to make me order you. For a while, you performed fairly valiantly, but when I wore you all day you failed utterly.

You gave me a blister on my big toe.

I'm not the kind of person who ever needs what Angie calls "sitting shoes", so I can't justify letting you take up space in my closet. I have to pass you on to someone who can use some "sitting shoes".

I appreciate your efforts to serve me well, but I can't forgive the blister. I refuse to wear shoes that hurt my feet. I hope you find a home that appreciates your cool factor.

I wanted to love you. The length was perfect, the small side vents were perfect, the sleeves were beyond perfect (and made me reconsider Gap because I have a problem finding sleeves that are long enough).

The deep v neckline in the back drove me batty, so I never wore you. It's time to pass you on to someone else who will appreciate the fit of a garment made for tall women; I know how hard it can be to find.

I actually very much liked you, bell sleeve sweater. I liked the tie detail too. I wore you frequently, and you were soft and comfortable.

However, this past week, I worked several extra days and got extra tired and got grumpy about worrying over the bell sleeves when I was in the bathroom. I couldn't pee, I couldn't wash my hands, I couldn't brush my teeth without worrying about getting all that fabric wet. Who wants pee and toothpaste on their sleeves?

I'm passing you on to the local thrift shop in hopes that someone who can handle bell sleeves takes you home. Thank you for keeping me comfy and warm, bell sleeve sweater. I shall miss you (except when I'm in the bathroom).

Holey joggers, you were a total impulse purchase. I was walking through the Family Dollar looking for a crossword puzzle book when I spotted you out of the corner of my eye. I had to have you.

You were perfect to wear with my tactical boots and my black sweater with slits at the elbows. I felt like a post apocalyptic warrior while wearing you.

Sadly, this week, I got some super sticky black construction adhesive goop on you. If it had just been paint or stain, I would have rolled with it. This stuff was super sticky gooey stuff, and as I peeled you off to try and assess the damage, the goo made you stick to yourself. The goo just kept smearing around and making different parts of you stick together. At that moment, I realized that there was no hope.

Goodbye, holey joggers, I shall truly miss you.

It was a rough week for my wardrobe here in the middle of nowhere. A favorite top got chewed on by my boss's pet goat; thankfully, it can be saved with some target practice LOL
The sneakers I was wearing with the top? Not so much. It's been a really wet week, and the mud stains just wouldn't come out. This was a pair of shoes that weren't meant to fit my dystopian aesthetic. These shoes were more lighthearted and fun than my usual cynical/pessimistic self. They were a bright berry with some metallic dark grey accents.
Goodbye, hi-top sneakers. Im sorry I was so careless with you.

I'm sorry, hoodie tunic. I really liked you. Items like you don't come along very often, interesting and asymmetric and a bit moody. You were a wonderfully comfortable piece and I wore you often. And therein lies the problem. I somehow snagged you on something and tore a hole in you. I'm so sorry I didn't take more care when wearing you, and I'm sad to see you go. Thank you for being such a wonderful friend to me.

Goodbye, Linea Pelle belt. I ordered you from Barney's ages ago. You didn't fit right, so I never wore you.

It's a total shame to have something as beautiful as you to be neglected, so I had Sunshine cut you. I had him spare your interesting ends and take the rest to our house build to make a pull for the back side of the sliding barn door.

It hurt to cut you, yet it comforted me to know that you would be used in my new forever home. Thank you for your non-traditional service to us; now let's hope I can find the perfect DIY project to use and enjoy the rest of you.

Shirt-dress-tunic thingy, I bought you from the thrift shop because you were a warm-ish cotton flannel in an interesting length. I enjoyed wearing you because you were an interesting length. You helped me make a fantastic example of power-clashing pattern mixing, and that outfit was epic (https://youlookfab.com/welookf.....ern-mixing)

However, I didn't wear you often enough, because I just thought your cut was kind of boring. You had no darts or seams to help give me shape, and belting you just looked weird to my eyes (which maybe wasnt your fault since im the one who gained weight and made belts look funny on me in certain combinations).

You were also not well served by my extremely cramped closet conditions, and always looked like you needed to have a date with an iron. The space you occupied is more useful to me if it contains one of the asymmetric tunics that I adore wearing. Rather than let you languish, rumpled and wrinkled, unloved... I shall pass you on to someone who can appreciate you far more than I ever did.

Thank you, shirt-dress-tunic thingy. I'll always remember the epic power-clashing pattern mixing outfit we made together.

Cold arm sweater, you were weird, and I liked that about you. It was a different way to look at the cold shoulder trend, and I was there for it. I like the way the sleeves looked like they had been ripped in a fight.

Unfortunately, the crew neck was too small. It barely fit over my head, and it constantly felt like it was choking me.

It's time to say goodbye, cold arm sweater. Hopefully your neckline won't be too tight for the next person that takes you home.